Day 4 - Paperwork and Bonding

Day 4 - Wednesday, March 15^th   Jinan, Shandong

We were up bright and early to eat at breakfast buffet because we have our civil affairs appointment today.  During breakfast, we learned the Katie LOVES sushi.  She was a little unsure of how to navigate the huge breakfast buffet, so she stuck by Madeline and followed her lead. 

After breakfast, it was off to Civil Affairs office to make the adoption official in her province.  This will be a bittersweet day.  She will officially become our daughter, but she will also have to say goodbye again to her foster sister and aunt from the orphanage. 

When we arrived at the Civil Affairs office, there was a globe on one of the tables.  Madeline and Katie instantly went to it and started looking at where China was and where Pennsylvania was.  They were also checking out the distance between PA and Chicago because Katie’s best friend, Tian Tian, is set to be adopted in June and we believe she will be moving to Chicago.

At the Jinan, Shandong Civil Affairs office, there is a Wall of Love – families that have adopted a child from Shandong province place a handwritten note on the wall and the family photo is attached.  Katie saw several children from Weihai Children’s Welfare Institute that she knew that were recently adopted. 

While waiting to complete the adoption paperwork, Katie did thumb wresting with Madeline and Baba (Daddy in Chinese).  She was battling them both at once.  She is very ambidextrous!  She primarily eats and writes with her left hand, but she can actually write and eat with her right hand as well.  There were lots of smiles and laughs while we waited.  The “aunt” orphanage worker was present for majority of paperwork time and things went well.  Katie signed the papers and wrote the she wanted to be adopted by our family!  She also put her fingerprint on the signature using red ink. 

We (Jeff and Jodi) had to sign several papers as well.  We had to write numerous times that we would never abandon or abuse her and that we will make sure that she receives an education and medical care.  The civil affairs officer gave Katie and us gifts as well.  Katie received a beautiful kite ornament because her province (specifically Weifang) is known for kites.  We received 4 Chinese decorations. 3 of them were the traditional red Chinese knot decorations and 1 was a beaded apple decoration.  The red knots are intricate and rich in symbolism - red is the luckiest color and the knot symbolizes good luck and a prosperous life. 

We then took photos in front of the Shandong Intercountry  Adoption Registration sign and with both countries’ flags (USA and China) on each side of us.  


Katie’s foster sister arrived shortly after that and then the tears began flowing – not only for Katie, but for us as well.  We have never had the opportunity to meet people that have known our adopted children so well, so closely, and for such a long time.  It was such a blessing to meet these two women.  The foster sister has WeChat, so we should be able to keep in touch with her easily.  Thank God for such wonderful technology. We had to say goodbye in person, but will be able to keep in touch using technology.  You can see pics below of our emotional goodbye.  Katie's foster sister called her foster mother before we left as well. See pics and caption below. 

And for our second "Only in China" moment for the day.  While we are adopting our daughter, taking photos between the flag, and then crying and hugging, two random women that we did not know also started taking photos of our family.  Talk about awkward.  At first we thought they knew someone that was there with us.  When we asked our guide who these two women were that were taking our family's photo - she said, "We have no idea.  They are strangers."  #OnlyinChina    To learn about our first "Only in China" moment of the day, see photo below. 

After the Civil Affairs office paperwork was complete, we had to go to the notary in Jinan.  The amount of cigarette smoke in that office probably took a few years off of our lives.  We were at the notary for almost an hour doing more paperwork. The kids were great and kept themselves busy coloring and playing games.  When we left to go back to the van, Katie reached out her hand to Jodi and to show she wanted to hold hands.  It may not seem like much, but her initiating any kind of touch/affection is a really big deal just 24 hours into this process.  Bonding with a 12 (almost 13 year old) takes more patience and intentional interaction because she is not as dependent on us like a younger child would be. 

This picture does not adequately explain what happened on our way to the Civil Affairs office.  We had just left our hotel and were driving down the street.  In Jinan and many other cities in China, mopeds are the main form of transportation.  They are everywhere and our guide, Cindy, told us that the mopeds often feel they have the right of way.  Well this woman certainly thought this way.  She stopped right in front of us and sat face to face with our very large van and would NOT move.  She began yelling at the driver to go around her.  He began yelling back at her.  After about a minute or so of this yelling back and forth, he had to get out of the car and yell at her some more.  She finally went on her way.  Wish I had caught the entire thing on video.  We couldn't believe what we were seeing.  It was one of those "only in China" moments!

Wen looking at the family wall of love

Thumb wars - times 2!

Jeff and Jodi signing papers and stating that we will never abandon or abuse Fu Wen Yu and that we will make sure that she receives an education and medical care. 

Our cameraman, Zach

Wen writing that she wants to be adopted by us and signing her name.  Fingerprint done in red ink. 

Wen and her foster sister.  She has known her since she was 10 months old. Breaks our heart to see her grieving.  She knows it will be a long time until she sees her again.  Luckily, we can WeChat (Skype) with her for free and that should help.  Saying goodbye is never easy. 

Our photo and letter on the wall of love

Random women wanting to take pictures with our children.  Chinese people are very curious about foreigners and love to have their picture taken with them. 

Wen receiving gifts from the Civil Affair officer.  She received a kite ornament.  Her province is known for kites.  Jodi is receiving gifts for our family as well.  We were given 4 traditional Chinese decorations to hang in our home. 

It's official - she is our daughter!  Katherine Wenyu Horst

The orphanage aunt's son goes to Shandong University and stopped by say hello during our process. 

Foster sister called the foster mother so that Wen could say goodbye.  Lots of tears from Wen and from everyone in the room.  This was definitely the  hardest part of the adoption.  Seeing her grieve is tough.  She talked to her foster mother for about 5 minutes and then we had to say our final goodbyes.  We hugged her foster sister and "aunt" and thanked them from the bottom of our hearts for everything they had done for her the past 12 years.  Words cannot express how appreciative and grateful we are for their love and care of our daughter. 

The goodbye was tough for all of us, but just minutes later in the van, she was looking better already.  However, we (Jeff and Jodi) couldn't stop crying.  Men do not show their emotions in China and especially do not cry in front of others.  This made Wen very concerned and she kept asking, "Baba (Daddy)- you okay?"  She is such a special young lady.  The bravest and strongest 12 year old we have ever met.  She has no idea how much we already love her! 

Afternoon was spent playing Uno and with the toys her foster sister gave her.  She got a Rubik's cube and a tessellation toy.

We went to the park across from our hotel after we were done with our appointments for the day.  We are having very nice weather here in Jinan.  The girls have been holding hands pretty much every chance they get. Mom and Dad get to hold her hand now and then as well. 

Man exercising with a whip in the park.

Gentleman writing Chinese characters on the street with water and a mop.

Even the security guards / police like to take our photos. 

Statue in the center of the park. Jinan has several natural springs and this statue symbolizes the purity of the water. 

Wen/ Katie is not always a fan of having her photo taken.  Sometimes we can get her to smile. Other times,  she looks like she is annoyed with us for constantly asking to take her photo.

Locals flying kites in the park - by the evening when everyone is done with work, the park is filled with kites.

She has no idea how beautiful she is!

In the afternoon, we went to Baotu Springs Park. It was beautiful and had many springs, ponds, neat building, and unique stones.  There was even a seal pool with two seals in the middle of the park.  See pic below 

Locals spinning tops with whips in the park

 Zach and Katie bonding while playing on the iPad.

 Holding hands - even on the elevator

 Baotu Spring Park

 Koi pond

 Seal

 Locals playing a tile game in the park.

Holding hands - she is almost always holding at least one of our hands when we are out and about.